Ask Maeve: My Child Needs Quiet Space at Home

Oct 5, 20143 min read

Maeve helps parents in a small home create a private workspace for their son.

My son is struggling at school. We were told to create space at home so he can focus on homework. The problem is we live in a tiny apartment, the same one my wife and I have shared since marriage, and we can’t afford to move. What can we do? - Max, NYC

Dear Max,

I feel for your situation. Please know that trying to carve out space to support a growing family in a small apartment is more common than you think. Many couples start families in homes sized for two, then find that they stay there longer than intended, and soon enough, space is tight. Believe it or not, you don’t have to move to a larger home make this work. All you need is to put on a new hat so you can think differently about your existing space. Below is a strategy for how to think this through. Keep me posted on how it goes!

1: Take a Mental Tour

The first step to creating change at home is to start with an assessment of what's currently going on. So, start by taking a tour of your home, from the front door in. Allow yourself to see your apartment empty, as if you were walking in for the first time. What do you see beyond the furniture, bookcases and the items of your life? Take in what you see, as before we can make change we have to accept our current reality. I call this the 'Home IQ', and it's always a good starting place before embarking on any project. #homeIQ

2: Envision Your Child

Now, think about this same home filled first and foremost with a quiet space for your child to concentrate. Allow your mind to envision what would work best for him, and do not judge the answer that bubbles up. The truth is, you might realize quickly that the best space for him is where, perhaps, the TV currently lives. Or, a corner of the home that has always served as a home office. Or, perhaps even a busy nook that if cleared out, would nicely transform into a haven for your child.

3: Talk to Your Family

Next up, have with a conversation with your wife, and then with your son. Check in on your ideas about how to shift space to make things work. Ask them to do the Home IQ tour as well and see what bubbles up. As a coach, I always encourage families to work together to find solutions, and to involves kids as much as possible in the process.. Approach this as a team issue, and together you will find a solution that makes sense. #communication #kidpower

4: Commit to Change

Once you decide the location of your son's new workspace, make it so. Take a Saturday to shop for a desk, clean and clear the space and set up the area so that it works for him. Check out our How to Prepare Your Family and Home for Back to School for some great small space set-up ideas!

Once you decide the location of your son's new homework space, make it so.

And remember, stay positive about the process, even if it means having to temporarily displace the family TV. Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes balance in our homes needs to shift.

When you give yourself permission to look at your situation through a fresh lens – helping your child to achieve at school – your priorities will shift and new intentions become clear. #mindfulness

Check out our Success Story about Sisi, a family who used these techniques to help a similar situation.